All Hour Cymbals

Yeasayer are hands down one of my most eagerly anticipate bands I'm seeing this summer - and believe me, I've got Wolf Parade, Beirut and Grizzly Bear on the cards. I have watched this video zillions of times but it simply refuses to get old. This wonderful video shows what lovely noises a band, minimal instruments and a flat-full of Parisians willing to chant and slap the floor can make. 

Amazing. One day I will to be there when this kind of thing happens, when I am magically fluent in French and have a artfully shambolic flat in Paris. Well.. fingers crossed!

Should we kiss now? It feels appropriate.

Michael Cera is a lovely little specimen of a human being, isn't he? True, he plays exactly the same character in every film (himself), but he is undeniably quite adorable. Actually though, my mother is completely flummoxed by his appeal, but she thinks that Owen Wilson is a hot piece of ass, so she can be quiet. Alas, I digress. A fellow admirer of Cera's work (read: sweet little face), my good pal Jess recommended 'Paper Heart' to me. Since her film taste is pretty much spot-on, when the opportunity arose for me to see it I thought, yes, why not!

The 'mockumentary' follows the comedienne Charlyne Yi, a lovably awkward lady who has never been in (and doesn't believe in) love, as she goes on a road trip around America to try to better understand the concept of romance. Along her way, she interviews various love 'experts', ranging from the logical (divorcees, newlyweds, therapists) to somewhat unusual choices (such as children in a playground and Las Vegas wedding chapel workers).

Have you seen 'When Harry Met Sally'? If not, ignore me for a few seconds. If you have, you know those little interview snippets where it features old people recounting how they met? Well, this film features lots of them, accompanied by lovely, surreal, Science Of Sleep style animations (except not as good - think more pipe cleaners and bits of fluff, less Gael Garcia Bernal). 

The plot thickens when Charlyne meets a certain Mr Cera at a party, and he is instantly rather smitten. Nudged along by their mutual friends (the directors and camera men), the pair keep 'bumping into' each other wherever they go, until they decide to start making formal arrangements..... all the while being under the watchful eye of the camera. Despite being two perfect peas in a pod, the whole every-move-on-camera scenario starts to put a strain on their budding relationship, and things turn from golden to shit. It certainly tugs on the ol' heart strings when you see Charlyne's little face crumple, and you are bound to spend the rest of the film with your fingers and toes crossed so that they get back together. I, ahem, won't say what does happen in case you watch it for yourself, but I think it's bloody obvious.

I just want to quickly clarify: this film isn't amazing, per se. You hopefully won't make your dying words 'My life would've been great, if only I'd watched Paper Heart.', because if you were planning on it, you're a slightly unhinged individual. The only films worth mentioning on your deathbed are classics like The Graduate, and even then, haven't you got anything better to say? Anyway. Not a lot actually happens in this film, and if you are a suave, heart-on-your-sleeve individual it may frustrate you into shouting at the screen. But if you are more of a bumbling 'n' blushing sort, you will quite likely appreciate those awkward, sweet little moments captured perfectly on screen. 

Birthday Shenanigans

Sad times children, I am no longer a teenager... I am bloody twenty! My frightening birthday was rapidly approaching and my favourite person in the world was all the way over in Edinburgh, so what's a girl to do? I decided to go and pay Edinburgh a little visit. Plus, my darling sis' college was hosting a Roald Dahl-themed end of year party and there's no way I'm missing that. I do love a bit of fancy dress.

So, on the eve of my birthday I slowly but surely make my way down to bonnie Scotland. After lots of hugs 'n' smiles at the train station, me and Lo head straight off to a barbecue on the meadows, for some fun times and burnt halloumi. Fast forward one indulgent 90's teen film and some much-needed sleep, we woke up on my date of birth to be greeted with breakfast in bed, courtesy of Laura's gentle giant of a boyfriend, Josh (as seen on TV!). We eventually haul ourselves out of her lovely flat and hit the shops for some serious window shopping. We went to a charming little cafe called Eteakette, where we feasted on posh fizzy drinks, sandwiches and, of course, cake!

Once we're all shopped out, we are about to go to a Diane Arbus exhibition when we receive an invite to Chrissie's private graduation showing. Naturally we plump for the latter, and I am very glad we did - I was astounded (and shamed) by all the wonderful creations from the ECA graduates.... oh, what I'd give to be talented. I may be a wee bit biased in my opinion, but I reckon Chrissie was definitely the best in her class - just look at this guy! Caption reads: Please don't touch me (I just don't like it)

We scamper on home to hastily eat some tea, before eagerly getting ready for the main event. Laura, inspired by Wes Anderson's latest offering, dressed as The Fantastic Mrs Fox, complete with an enormous furry tail and co-ordinating mask. Nice! Josh really had no other option than to be The BFG, all he had to do was spray his hair grey and put on some comedy ears. I myself dressed as The Spider from James and The Giant Peach. Sadly, one of the perils of being the one with the camera is you get no photos of with you in it, but if any surface I shall let you know. 

For our all important pre-drinks, we stocked up on rum and pineapple juice, then hotfooted it round to their friend's flat, featuring a Willy Wonka, Mrs Ladybird and another Fantastic Mr Fox. It wasn't long before a pack of cards was cracked out and we played one of the best drinking games known to mankind, aptly named 'Gee Whizz'. Needless to say, we were all quite tipsy by the time we descended upon the actual soiree!

The party was hosted in the college, lending it a nice school-disco-but-with-alcohol atmosphere. It was all decked out with fairy lights and Roald Dahl murals, and each different studio hosted a different soundtrack, as well occasional bouts of karaoke. It was pretty amazing amounts of fun, though I unwisely decided to do away with mixers and just drink shots (bad. move.) so my memory is slightly hazy, particularly towards the latter end of the night. I have absolutely no recollection of our 5am walk home through The Meadows, where we apparently befriended a guy with a green face! Due to my squiffy state, the only photo I managed to take is this here one - a photo of Beth's hand taking a photo of the boys doing karaoke. It pretty much sums the night up, I reckon.

The next day we woke up far earlier than we'd of liked, to make our way back to dear Hull with as many of Laura's worldly possessions in tow as possible. Coupled with our bad decision of bringing no entertainment whatsoever, it was possibly the most nauseous train journey of my life. However, we salvaged things slightly by getting a nice greasy Burger King and wapping out Lo's laptop to watch Atonement. Eventually we rolled in at the station, where we were greeted with open arms and promptly whisked back to our nice, clean house. After absolutely inhaling our dinner, then came one of the best bits of birthdays - presents! Here is a little cross-section of my most aesthetically appealing gifts, including a beautiful 'sweetheart' necklace, apothecary-style lotions and potions and a cowboy mug. Oh, and I got a Latitude ticket! I am a lucky, lucky gal.

So far, twenty is not shaping up too bad!

An English Country Garden

Back when it looked like we were gonna have a summer - well, last week - my Ma asked me if I fancied going for a pic-nic in Burnby Hall Gardens. My first thought was HELL no, as the name itself conjures up images of pompous Manors and keen gardeners enthusing about plants, and also I am not an old woman (yet). But then I had a change of heart, as:

a) I took pity on mum, as her partner in crime, a.k.a my dad, was in Brazil, 

b) I was similarly orphaned, with my best buddies in far flung locations including Edinburgh, New York and Cornwall, 

c) sunshine and eating are two of my favourite activities, and

d) frankly, I had nothing better to do.

So off we set, armed with a pic-nic including apple juice, raspberries and those all-important sandwiches. To my surprise it was actually really quite lovely, with a massive lake full of ducks, water lilies and the most horrifically giant carps you've ever seen. By some bizarre stroke of luck, the abundance of little kids running around were dressed properly (like Victorian children) instead of the usual scamp's uniform of skinny jeans and baby Converse. That's what I like to see! All in all, the perfect mixture of scenery, serenity and sheer terror, therefore ideal for a pic-nic. Without further ado, here are a few snaps from the occasion...

Strike a pose, there's nothing to it.

Last but not least, whilst we were enjoying our post-picnic ginger ice cream, I spied this adorable pair who sat there the entire duration of our visit. You can't tell, but the lady was knitting and mister flat-cap there was reading the day's news, like the perfect clichéd old couple. But to spice it up a bit, he had full sleeves of nautical tattoos! What a guy.

Oh! You Pretty Things

So, earlier today I was having a root through my ol' book shelf and I came across this absolute classic - 'The Complete Beauty Book'. Purchased for a mere 50p in a charity shop, this 1985 beauty bible reckoned it was pretty avant-garde and aimed to 'take the science out of the art of makeup', whatever that means. 

It offers valuable nuggets of advice for any beauty novice; why not use a ruler to ensure your blusher is at a really nice angle? A black eyeliner definitely makes a good eyebrow pencil. Five shades of garish, pearlescent eyeshadow makes for a good day-look. And if you're wearing really heavy eye makeup, well, you might as well go the whole hog and wear dark lipstick as well. 

The hefty hardback is divided into sections for makeup, skin and haircare, with my own personal favourite sub-section being 'Disco and Elaborate Evening Makeup'. They aim to show readers of all ages how they can enhance their looks - this beauty was found under the teenagers and twenties category.... really?

Something about this old gal's expression makes me almost wet myself. I think it's how she's so pleased with her makeover, one eye bulges right out of her head. 

In the body care section, it more or less descends into soft porn (...and this is one of the less steamy images)

The skin care section shows several elaborate ways you can do a face mask, including slicing up an entire punnet of strawberries. The two green ones are firm favourites - the model looks understandably rather angry at having salad on her face.

Here is a rather delightful lipstick-themed montage. 

Now on to the best bit - a series of glamour shots that are so soft focused, it looks as if the photographer smeared Vaseline over the lens (to be fair - they probably did). Thinking about it, they look like the portraits that Deb takes in Napoleon Dynamite. Whilst you enjoy these bad-boys, just imagine living an era when looking like this was not only perfectly acceptable, but condoned!

Think I definitely finished on a high note there. Right, I'm off to try out all these looks.

Lemon Drizzle Cake

Oh lemon drizzle cake, get in my mouth! This particularly delectable creation is a firm favourite of mine and old ladies alike, and for good reason – it's bloody amazing. The following recipe worked a treat, and stayed tasty for as long it lasted in our household (three days – a record!). After a recent wardrobe culling, I unearthed my rather amazing psycadelic sixties apron, which I promptly attatched to myself. So in honour of the occasion, I accompanied my cake making with some of the best 60's girl groups, and I strongly suggest you follow suit...

1) Pop the oven on, 'till it's at 180°c, and line your cake tin with foil. There, now the boring bit's over. Frantically mix 225g of butter and the same amount of sugar together until it's all creamy. Crack open four eggs, making sure to feel impressed with yourself when you don't accidently drop in any shell, and throw them into the mixture one at a time.

Suggested listening: Be My Little Baby – The Ronnettes

2) Weigh out 225g of self-raising flour, then sift it into your eggy/sugary/buttery concoction for minimum lumpiness. You might want to do a few warm up exercises and flex your muscles, as now you must do some serious whisking. Since I am seriously abysmal de-lumpifying, I very kindly gave it to my Ma to complete while I progressed to the next step. For those fools that do their own whisking, this song as rather appropriate, as you can dance around your kitchen, Twiggy style.

Suggested listening: Jimmy Mack – Martha Reeves & The Vandellas

3) Rinse and dry two lemons, then, using a cheese grater, collect all the zest and pop that in the mixture too. Observe how curious and naked the lemons now look, but don't chuck their pale, exposed bodies away – you'll need them later for the drizzle!

These Boots Are Made For Walking – Nancy Sinatra

4) Spoon the mixture into the cake tin and level out the surface, purely for aesthetic reasons. Proudly put it in the oven, and now the waiting game begins. Resist peeking at it whilst it's cooking, as opening the oven will make the cake go all sad and flat. You have an agonizing 50 minute wait on your hands (and then even longer for it to cool down) so you might want to have a little snack, to soften the blow. I opted for a little bowl of cherries.

Suggested listening: He's Got The Power – The Exciters

5) At last! Sieze it from the oven and place it on a wire rack. Whilst it cools down, you can begin with the drizzle making. Juice both the previously-zested lemons, then stir in 85g of caster sugar. Now, here comes your chance to release any pent up rage. Viciously stab your cake with a skewer until it's covered in little holes, then drizzle your, erm, drizzle all over it. Aaaand, you're done.... except not quite, as you've got to wait for the bloody thing to cool down and set - hence the song choice.

Suggested listening: You Keep Me Hangin' On – The Supremes

6) Finally, you're able to eat the fruit of your creation! Personally, I liked it best when it had completely cooled down, but if you really can't wait I bet it's divine with custard. We opted to have it with a generous helping of cream. For the ultimate taste test, why not serve it to the ultimate cake critic – an elderly woman? Woo your granny, your neighbour, or a passing stranger on the street, whichever. If she gives it the seal of approval, then you know you've done good.

Listening suggestions: Love Is Strange – Mickey & Sylvia

My Top Five: Animal Collective

Despite being nominated for the Brit Award's International Breakthrough Act award last year, Baltimore-born Animal Collective have actually been in the business for ten bloody years! The curiously named foursome first bonded over a shared love of Pavement and horror movies at the tender age of fifteen. Several years and a lot of hallucinogenics later, they have eight studio albums under their belt and are constantly compared to seminal bands such as Pink Floyd and The Grateful Dead. How about that!

Although the most normal-looking band ever, give or take the odd headlight worn on stage, they create some very strange, very lovely songs. After a fair amount of deliberation, here are my absolute favourites in descending order....

5. Leaf House

What a charming little video, set in what looks like the world's most snazzily-decorated doll's house full of cat memorabilia. I love me a bit of stop-motion, and it must be said, fire never looked so sweet and unassuming as it does when it's made out of paper. Am I the only one who thinks the bit with the doll and the dog looks a bit dodgy, though...? The highlight of this song, in my humble opinion, is right at the very end: Kitties! Meowww.

4. Grass

When there's a song that I can't get out my mind, whether I'm wandering the streets, having a shower or trying to sleep, I like to go on the Song Meanings website - not just to find out what the hell they're singing, you understand, but to see what the always-amusing forum posters have to say. Amongst all the 'I think this is about falling in love with your best girl friend' posts, I came across this genius:

'Nothing beats waking up, whacking this baby on at full volume and squawking the lyrics downstairs whilst making cheese on toast.'

That pretty much sums it up, really - a song for all occasions!

3. Fireworks

Ahhhhhhhhh this song! My love for this knows no limits (well, except in a top five context), and I can't imagine I'll ever grow bored of it. I can't help but get a silly little smile on my face when I hear the line 'I was dreaming of just you, now my cereal, it is warm!' - and when you learn that the album it's from, 'Strawberry Jam', was written as Avey Tare fell in love with his future-wife, it makes it all the more sweet.

2. Brother Sport

The video is pretty wonderful, what with the dancing children, the dog vision and the rather psychedelic interlude... but the song is even better. From their critically-acclaimed Merriweather Post Pavillion album, this rather exhilarating little number urges Panda Bear's brother to 'open up his throat' about his grief for their late father. The thing I love most about this is how it sounds like several songs all seamlessly mashed together, culminating in a hypnotic chant; what a treat!

1. The Purple Bottle

I'd better be honest with you straight away - this one doesn't come with an amazing little video. Too many ill-advised film students have taken it upon themselves to make interpretive videos for this, but it is my favourite A.C. song, so I thought I'd just keep it nice 'n' simple. Believe it or not, the modest group consider themselves 'definitely not good musicians' but I beg to differ... just listen! Plus the lyrics in this song are absolute perfection. All in all, it is sheer audio-loveliness, miraculously condensed into a mere 6:51. I would gladly sacrifice my left leg, if only I could see this performed live.

Honorable mentions: Who Could Win A Rabbit, In The Flowers, Bluish, Summertime Clothes.